Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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