Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
