Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
