dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
wow bdsm is so cute
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
