at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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