my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
