Kiss
Puke
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
