sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
