you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
