What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
