Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
