Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
