he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had sex on a roof
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
