I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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