Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
