Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
