How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
