It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
