I think I died a long time ago.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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