and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
