i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sorry my hands just texted you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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