Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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