What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
