dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
