Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
