so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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