yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
