is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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