I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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