You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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