god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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