we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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