I think i peed on brittanys purse
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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