Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
