just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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