My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
