I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
this will be a night to untag.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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