yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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