Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
