Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
