take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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