More tranny stories later!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
