i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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