In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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