guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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