she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
