you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i drank out of a bidet.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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