Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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