okay pat passed out under dana's car
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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