bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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