If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
