I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
