whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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